B0079G5GMK EBOK Page 14

  Bit by bit she relaxed and let Adam turn her and face him. Still calm, he started to kiss her deeper and his touch became demanding. Clarissa sighed with pleasure and without noticing, touched him back.

  “That's it,” Adam urged her, gently.

  “You see, it's all easy,” Adam looked at her with eyes black from lust and Clarissa saw how hard it was for him to hold back.

  Clarissa didn't understand what happened next. Adam melted her smoothly, and when their bodies finally joined together, her mind exploded. She was as one with Adam. She saw herself running as a wolf beside Adam. Forever. Just her and Adam. And finally, when they had satisfied their hunger, she crawled into his arms, shaking. The connection was still there. She saw everything that he did, understood everything as he did. She looked at him, confused, and saw such an enormous love from his eyes that it went over her mind.

  “Gu bráth,” Adam whispered.

  “Gu bráth,” Clarissa confirmed and sank into his dark eyes.

  After a few hours, Clarissa sneaked downstairs, wrapped in a sheet. The house was quiet. Her friends had cleaned it up and left at some point during the day. There was a note on the table that said everything. It was useless to explain. The comments and jokes of her friends confirmed what she had doubted. Everyone knew. At least they knew everything that had happened before she and Adam had disappeared upstairs. Clarissa blushed and went to get some juice from the fridge. A silent voice in the living room stopped her.

  Joshua, the panic hit her. Joshua would kill her. What had she done! Adam's warmth surrounded her in a trice and she relaxed. She trusted Adam and the confidence filled her. Everything was as it was supposed to be. She lifted her chin and prepared to see Joshua and his rage.

  Clarissa stopped at the doorway of the living room. The door was slightly open. She pressed her lips together and pushed the door open.

  “Mother,” she sighed and rushed into Sofia's arms.

  Sofia

  Words were not necessary as we both knew that I already knew everything. I fondled her hair and held her tightly in my arms. Clarissa's childhood was over, but she didn't mind at all. She looked at me in wonder with her bright green eyes mixed with a bit of golden brown.

  “Mother,” she sighed again.

  “Shh, it's all right,” I said and let go of her gently.

  “It was amazing,” Clarissa started, but couldn't continue. Her lips were shaking and she had happy tears in her eyes as she looked at me questioningly.

  I knew. Clarissa saw everything so much clearer now, as she shared Adam's mind. Adam had given her a gift beyond her imagination, and she would have it forever. The sense of a wolf would make her stronger and she could probably shift her shape better from now on. Her life was bound to Adam's forever, I thought, bitterly.

  “You know that wolves are monogamous, right?” I started carefully.

  Clarissa looked at me and waited. I wasn't sure if she actually understood a word I was saying.

  “Adam is a wolf and so are you, for at least some part,” I said and waited for her to understand me.

  Clarissa just stared at me and I grabbed her shoulders. I looked deep into her eyes and when I was sure she was really listening, I continued.

  “You have bound yourself to Adam for the rest of your life,” I said.

  “Oh,” Clarissa said dumbly.

  “I mean forever. Eternity and so on,” I said, waiting for at least some kind of response.

  “Oh,” she said again and I watched as the realization hit her.

  “You mean like forever forever,” she whispered, half-terrified and half-excited.

  I nodded and waited for her to go on. She stared at me and smiled goofily.

  “Is it always like this?” Clarissa asked and I felt the warmth that floated in her mind every time she thought about Adam.

  I sighed and nodded. Clarissa got up and observed her body, amazed. She was like a new born child. I heard Adam scuffling on the stairs and the door opened. He stayed in the doorway and I could do nothing but gasp. His black hair was a mess and he was holding the sheet to his waist with one hand to cover his lower body. His upper body was naked and was gleaming with sweat. His trained muscles were clearly seen and he looked really yummy. Wild and reckless. Dangerous. Clarissa spun happily around next to him and almost drooled. Then she looked at me, terrified.

  “Joshua,” Clarissa sighed with horror.

  “Don't even think about it,” I said and backed away instinctively.

  “You're going to tell him,” I said strictly and Adam grinned at Clarissa.

  Clarissa begged him for help, but he lifted his hands in the air and almost dropped his sheet. He backed away, too.

  “Don't do that to me! You don't want me to get involved,” Adam said, laughing.

  I looked at him, wondering. Who was this handsome, laughing man? I had never seen him like this. Laughing and relaxed. Clarissa tried to reach him, but he passed her, laughing. I knew in that moment that their game had changed. His eyes looked feverish and Clarissa licked her lips lightly. Adam stopped and Clarissa slid into his arms. I shook my head in disbelief. They were like some horny young wolves. I raised my hand and stopped them before their lips met.

  “Clarissa,” I snapped with the voice of a pack leader.

  Clarissa's hand stopped and she looked at me wonderingly.

  “Joshua,” I reminded her.

  She slowly gained her balance and humbly bent her head down.

  “I give you one week, that's all,” I said strictly.

  Clarissa couldn't believe what she had heard.

  “A week,” she sighed. “That's too soon.”

  “Where I stand, I think it's all clear. You have chosen your partner and you have to tell Joshua,” I continued and looked at her demandingly.

  Clarissa tried to mumble some objections, but stopped as she noticed I was serious. She couldn't do anything to turn my head.

  “Okay,” she said in a quiet, resigned voice.

  “Joshua deserves to hear this as soon as possible. So sooner is better than after a week,” I said strictly. “I'll expect you to take care of it the first chance you get.”

  Clarissa nodded guiltily. I nodded lightly at Adam and took my jacket from the corner of the sofa. I was about to step outside when I turned. Clarissa had melted into Adam's arms and he was holding her gently. I sighed as I knew exactly what would happen after I closed the door behind me.

  CHAPTER 22

  The cold winter air quickly cleared my mind. I knew I couldn't go home now. Not when my thoughts were so mixed up. I turned my car to the small side road that took me to a small hill about two kilometers from our home. The road was not even, and as I didn't want to take the risk of getting stuck in the snow, I left my car at the beginning of the road. I struggled in the snow for a while with my two feet, and then I let myself turn into a wolf. I was sure that a proper rabbit hunt would balance my thoughts and after that, I would be ready to face Joshua and the others without revealing Clarissa's secret.

  I felt someone touch my mind lightly and was happily surprised as I noticed Daniel and Gavin were also on a hunting trip in the same woods. I lifted my snout and howled a little. After a while they answered my howl and two large male wolves appeared from the bushes. I rubbed my snout on Gavin's fur and let my head rest, for a moment, on Daniel's neck. Gavin barked questioningly and jumped a little bit further from me. I revealed nothing. I just stayed close to Daniel and enjoyed my brothers' presence. Gavin gave up and started to sniff some old footprints of a wood mouse. Daniel pushed me gently and jumped after Gavin.

  Daniel was slightly bigger than Gavin and had always thought that he was the leader of the two because he was bigger. However, Gavin had always been so reckless that no one could really lead him to do anything he didn't want to. Now he demonstratively turned his back to his brother. Daniel snorted and started to play chase and catch with me.

  Just when Daniel and I were rolling like a mess down the hill
, Gavin howled challengingly. We stopped and stared at him, snuffling. Our furs were full of snow and our snouts were covered with frost. Gavin stared at us from the upper hill and sniffed the ground. I opened my senses and my snout was filled with the delicious smell of a rabbit. I couldn't help myself and pushed Daniel, who was standing there peacefully. He fell into the powder snow. I waited for him to attack me but he just grinned and revealed his teeth. Then he jumped lightly next to Gavin.

  We hunted for nearly four hours and by evening, we had preyed on two rabbits and a fat mouse. Hanging our prey on our teeth, we proudly jogged to my car. The winter sky darkened into a deep blue and for a moment we enjoyed the magical moment that made the woods look so beautiful. Then we shifted back to our human forms.

  From the outside our house seemed a pretty peaceful place. Clarissa was sitting on the lounger and Flow had rolled up on her lap. She was staring at the repeat of Friends on TV. Joshua was staring at her and the other males were staring at Joshua. David was playing cards with Marie and Tiamhaidh was helping her. I could feel the sigh of relief as we came in. Clarissa glanced at me quickly, but turned her eyes back to the TV. Joshua begged me to tell him some answers with his eyes. Mat got up fast and grabbed our prey, starting to clean them up. David looked at the mouse with disgust, but said nothing. I put my arms around David's neck and pressed my cold nose on it.

  “For the dogs,” I whispered and smiled warmly.

  David relaxed. He loved meat, but he wasn't ready to eat a mouse. Ciall got a hot cup of tea from somewhere and put it in my hands. I sat next to the fireplace and grabbed the striped grey woolen socks from the floor. Tiamhaidh looked at me and laughed.

  “Be my guest!” he shouted. “I hope you enjoy my socks.” And continued the card game.

  I stared absentmindedly at Clarissa. She was trying her best to look relaxed, but everything in her revealed that she was not. “Relax,” I whispered in her mind. “I can't,” Clarissa whined and glanced at Joshua. Joshua looked at us, confused. What had happened? Not more than a day ago, he had been sure that Clarissa would choose him. But now, she was obviously pushing him away.

  I slurped some hot tea and put my legs closer to the fire. “You'll have to tell him!” I ordered Clarissa. She looked at Joshua guiltily, and buried herself in Flow's fur. “As soon as possible!” I scowled at her angrily, and she nodded. I could easily shut Joshua out of Clarissa's mind, but I didn't want to do that. Wolves didn't lie, and Joshua couldn't possibly understand what had happened. I could've eased his pain easily. One word, Adam, and he would've understood. However, I didn't want to let Clarissa get out of this easily, so she had to deal with Joshua by herself.

  Clarissa observed Flow's fur like it was the most interesting thing in the world. At times, she looked at Joshua and sighed. Joshua got up and went to sit next to her feet. I glanced at Clarissa warningly, and she scowled at me. I was sure she was going to stand up and leave Joshua alone on the floor. The scowl, directed at me, confirmed that I was right. Flow looked at me with her gentle eyes and asked for help. She sensed that something was going on, but she didn't quite understand what it was. Whatever it was, though, she wanted to get as far away from Clarissa and Joshua as she could. I couldn't let her suffer any longer and I gestured for her to come to me. As she jumped from Clarissa's lap, Clarissa got the excuse she wanted and got up as well. She complained with a loud voice how bad a headache she had and asked to be left alone. Joshua stared at her back and came next to me.

  “Mathair, I don't understand. I don't understand anything at all,” Joshua said, confused.

  I looked at him and smiled gently.

  “Just give her a little time,” I said quietly.

  “But,” Joshua began.

  I silenced him with one look and got up. I felt like a traitor, but I couldn't face him now. This was Clarissa's mess and she sure had to solve it. I took David's hand and pressed him to go upstairs with me. Joshua looked stunned and I felt how the others felt stunned as well. This was so not like me. I wanted to solve things straight and I didn't play games like this. Ever. So all of them were really confused. I, however, didn't stop to give any explanations. I just kept going.

  CHAPTER 23

  Clarissa

  When the school bell rang, Clarissa, Caitlin and Emilie rushed out of class. The last class of Friday had again proved to be painfully long. The teacher had tried desperately to get at least some knowledge into their heads, but in vain. They wouldn't remember a word afterwards.

  Clarissa pushed the front door open and stopped. She stared at Joshua, who was marching across the yard with a murderous look in his eyes. Caitlin and Emilie passed her and sneaked out, looking apologetic. Clarissa tried to make her face look happily surprised and prepared to hear his tantrum. She had no clue why he was so cranky. Yes, she admitted, she had been avoiding Joshua as best as she could, and after her birthday party she had been sure that he knew about her and Adam.

  The days had passed, and Joshua hadn't seemed to be mad or accusing her of anything, so she really had no idea what had made him so mad. She was quite sure he didn't know about Adam.

  “Joshua,” Clarissa said brightly.

  Joshua didn't bother to say a word. He grabbed her arm and started to pull her back inside. Clarissa felt something break inside of her. The coldness filled her and gave her goosebumps. Joshua knew. She was sure of that now, and she knew that nothing but her excellent acting skills could save her from him.

  “Joshua! Stop! What are you doing?” Clarissa asked, stunned.

  Joshua stayed silent and kept pulling her towards the gym locker. In front of the boys locker room he stopped and pushed her inside. Joshua leaned heavily against the wall and tried to make himself calm down. Clarissa was too scared to say a word. Joshua opened his mouth a few times, as if to say something, but closed his eyes tightly and pressed his mouth shut. Clarissa stared at him with eyes wide from fear. She had never seen him like this. The minutes went by. When nothing happened, Clarissa took a few cautious steps towards the door. Joshua was there in a trice and pushed her against the nearest wall, with his hands tightly on her throat.

  “Joshua,” Clarissa whispered in horror.

  “Not a word,” Joshua spluttered in pain.

  Clarissa opened her mouth, but the warning of danger in his eyes stopped her. She was too afraid to move. Joshua's hot breathing felt as if it was burning on her skin and even though his strong body was pressed really close to hers, she didn't feel the familiar warmth like she used to do around him. Everything about him was screaming from the repressed violence and that scared her the most. Okay, if she couldn't pretend that she didn't have a clue why he was so mad, what could she do? Think! She ordered herself. Joshua's hands were still on her throat and there was not a single sign that he was going to back away. Clarissa begged with her eyes to let her go, but he didn't ease his grip one bit. She sent the silent cry for help to all the shape shifters of the pack and hoped that someone was near enough to save her from Joshua's rage.

  “Stop,” Joshua snapped.

  “What?” Clarissa asked innocently.

  “Just stop!” Joshua shouted. “You're not that good.”

  “Do you think I can't hear you begging for someone to help you?” Joshua grinned coldly and fondled her neck with his finger.

  “No one is coming, you can be sure of that. I made sure they all think you're safely shopping at the mall with me, and as they have no reason to think that I would harm you, no one is going to help you,” he said, laughing like a maniac.

  “I know!” Joshua screamed.

  “Joshua,” Clarissa begged quietly.

  “No! I know you've secretly been seeing Adam!”

  Clarissa was quiet. She tried to think as quickly as she could. Was there any exit for her? Could she find any loopholes to wiggle herself out of this?

  “I trusted you! I gave you everything I had! But you, you just played me around the whole time!” Joshua raged.

  “No! It w
asn't like that! Please, let me explain. You are so wrong,” Clarissa asked calmly.

  “Don't lie to me!” Joshua banged his fist on the wall right next to Clarissa's head.

  “I have been so stupid. Oh, I saw the signs between you and Adam but I didn't believe my eyes,” he grunted. “Not even when I saw how the others would look at each other every time I entered the room. I was so blind and I didn't want to push you. I thought that was what you wanted, to move slowly. And at the same time, you gave yourself to Adam like any other slut that follows him. I really thought you were different.”

  Clarissa was quiet. Joshua was right. She was no better than the others, but why had he gone so mad right now? She was going to tell the others this weekend and she had hoped he could've waited a few more days. Joshua slammed her against the wall and his face was twisted with self hatred.

  “You have chosen, haven't you?” He asked bitterly.

  “Yes,” Clarissa said, almost silently.

  “And when were you planning to tell me? Were you going to invite Adam to your home and tell us all together? Or did you think, Joshua will understand? Good old Joshua,” a spit spattered from his mouth and Clarissa shut her eyes with disgust.

  “You made your choice at Christmas, didn't you?” Joshua raged.

  “Yes,” Clarissa said quietly.

  “Damn your mother!” Joshua shouted.

  “Leave my mother alone,” Clarissa said, horrified. “She has nothing to do with this.”

  “So, you would've chosen Adam anyway,” Joshua said bitterly. His face was red with fury and humiliation, but he had to know. “I bet Adam gave you one hell of a birthday gift, didn't he?”

  Clarissa blushed but said nothing. Joshua pressed her tighter.

  “Answer me!” Joshua shouted. Clarissa, however, couldn't answer.

  “I'm sorry,” she whispered.

  “So am I,” Joshua snapped.