B0079G5GMK EBOK Page 5

  Sofia

  “Adam, let go of her!” I yelled strictly. “Leig rach Adam!”

  “Chan eil!”

  “Tha! A nis!”

  Adam looked at me and got ready to attack.

  “A nis!” I roared.

  Adam stared at me angrily but he had to obey me or he would feel the anger of the elders later. He didn't want to become an outcast or force Clarissa to live as one. She was more than his soul and I knew that. He also knew that I knew, but Gunward and I had made the decision to keep it to ourselves. We didn't want anyone to know how stuck he was already with Clarissa. He had to win her over but not like this. No! Never like this!

  Adam let go of Clarissa and she slumped to the floor. She looked at him with her glassy eyes. Her lips had swollen and her hair was a mess. Her shirt revealed more than it hid, but she didn't care. She just kept staring at him enchanted. Joshua couldn't move. He glanced at them in turn. He looked like he could kill Adam any minute. Only Tiamhaidh's tight grip on his arms was stopping him. Finally, Marcel went to Clarissa and hid her under his jacket. She whimpered Adam's name and Marcel pressed her deeper into his arms.

  “Is this what you wanted?” I snapped at Adam.

  “No! But I had no choice!” he yelled and stared murderously at Joshua.

  “There's always a choice! Look at her!” I yelled and only Tiamhaidh’s gaze kept me still. I dug my nails in my palms and tried to remind myself that yelling never helped, not in any situation.

  Adam didn't move his gaze from my eyes. The riotousness started to fade and fear came to replace it.

  “Look at her! Is this how you want your female? An apathetic, whimpering bundle? You almost raped her!” I snapped.

  “No!”

  “Yes!”

  “No!” he exclaimed miserably and finally looked at Clarissa.

  There were tears running down her face, but she still couldn't turn her gaze from Adam's face. If he had asked, she would've crawled to him and begged him to continue.

  “Oh, my God! What have I done? I am so sorry mo gaol. Mo beatha.”

  “Adam,” Clarissa whispered desperately and stretched her hands out to Adam. If Marcel weren’t been holding her, she would've rushed to his arms.

  Adam took a step towards her, but Blake stepped between them.

  “Leave us now,” I said icily and looked sternly at him.

  “Sofia...”

  “No, Adam. Not now. Give me some time to think about this,” I closed my eyes and wished he would disappear.

  “Sofia, tha mi duilich.”

  “I know. Just go now.”

  “Adam,” screamed Clarissa.

  “Tha mi duilich,” said Adam and left, leaving Clarissa behind.

  “Adam!” Clarissa's shocked scream echoed in the gym.

  We looked at each other silently. No one was to blame and yet we knew this was not supposed to happen. We had all been blind to Adam's fierce nature, and we couldn't understand how he could possibly have done this to her. No, we couldn't blame anyone. Each of us had failed her and left her unprotected. We should've protected her better. We had failed.

  CHAPTER 7

  I ordered Joshua to carry Clarissa to the car. Marcel gave way to him reluctantly. I saw how hard it was for Joshua to touch her and I knew that he would blame himself for a long time for leaving Clarissa unprotected. Rolling in self pity wouldn't help though. None of us could have predicted that anything like this could happen, and if anyone could've known that, it was me. Yet I knew exactly how Joshua felt.

  Marcel got into the backseat and pulled Clarissa to his arms. She sniffed miserably and grabbed him desperately. I didn't let Joshua come to our car and he went sulkily to another car with Jonas. Tiamhaidh drove fast and Joshua followed easily right behind us, full of anger.

  At home, Tiamhaidh carried Clarissa straight to her own room. Marie was already waiting for them, and when Tiamhaidh had put Clarissa on her bed, she rushed him out. Tiamhaidh glanced at her before he left and Marie knew he wouldn't go far. Ciall had already placed himself behind Clarissa's door and would make sure that no one could disturb them.

  I looked at Tiam anxiously when he stepped into the living room. He shook his head and I felt the guilt flow in me. I should've defended my child. I had made the decision to let Adam contend for Clarissa and I should've known better. I had believed that Adam could behave properly, even when I knew what kind of a beast lived inside him. Now I had to live with the consequences. My daughter was lying upstairs; her heart ripped in tatters, frightened half to death and still every cell in her thirsted for Adam. He had assaulted her violently, and yet he had won. Clarissa belonged to him. Everyone in the room knew Adam had chosen his spouse and Clarissa had chosen her sire. Clarissa was the only one who hadn't realized that yet.

  “Stop that, Sofia,” grunted Tiamhaidh.

  “I can't! I don't know what to do anymore. I have been so stupid and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for you Joshua, especially for you, but for you all as well.”

  I sat on the edge of the sofa with my back straight and looked at each of the males. Joshua was staring at the wall behind me. His eyes were full of murder. I wasn't sure who he wanted to kill the most, me or Adam, but in his present state of mind he could've even murdered Clarissa. The memory of her willingly embracing Adam cut his heart like the sharpest knife. Blake was cleaning his nails and Marcel and Fabio were whispering quietly to each other, glancing guiltily at me from time to time. Jonas lay relatively relaxed on a lounger and played with the remote, changing the channels every second until Darel snatched the remote and threw it to the sofa where Jonas couldn't reach it. Igor and Alexei grunted in Russian and stared at the woods rather than meet my eyes. Drew was texting something on his phone, looking concentrated, but glanced sympathetically at Joshua in between his tapping.

  Tiamhaidh came and sat behind me. He started to massage my shoulders slowly, and I felt the knots starting to ease. I couldn't break now. I had to be strong, at least till David came home and I could collapse in his arms in private. I was the pack leader and they were all depending on me. I shook Tiam's heavenly hands away and looked steadily at Joshua.

  “I understand if you want to go home to your own packs. No one will blame you if you quit now. You all know as well as I do what the situation is and I want you to know, no matter what happens, you're all welcome to join my pack and live together with us.”

  “Sofia,” Fabio started uncomfortably. “My pack is waiting for me and even if I like it here, I have no reason to stay away from my family any longer. I'll be gone before dawn.”

  “I know it's not the best time to go, but I've been gone way too long already. I'm sorry,” he said quietly.

  “Same here,” grunted Igor. “I, however, am not going to give up as easily and the minute Adam is gone, I'll be back.”

  “I'm going, too,” said Alexei. “I've known from day one that she wouldn't choose me, but I still hoped for nothing. It's better to leave now and save myself from further humiliations.”

  The other males grunted in agreement and when I counted the ones who were leaving, I noticed that besides Joshua, only Blake and Jonas were about to stay. Only three, I thought, and for nothing. Blake looked straight at me, as if he had heard my thoughts.

  “I'm not staying for Clarissa, but for you, Sofia. I don't have any other family and I like it here.”

  I nodded approvingly. Blake was not the strongest of males, but he was very bright and clever. I was more than happy to have him in my pack.

  “I, as well, am not staying for Clarissa, but for Joshua. He has become a brother to me and I'm not gonna let him face Adam alone,” said Jonas.

  Joshua nodded at him and I smiled at them warmly.

  “I'll stay, of course, though at this moment I'm sure Clarissa will never choose anyone else over Adam. Anyway, I am not so sure Adam seriously wants her. I think he'll play with her awhile and then throw her away like a used toy,” said Joshua bitterly.

  I glan
ced at him questioningly. Joshua would barely be pleased with Adam's leftovers, so I was sure he was up to something. I wiped his mind lightly, but I didn't catch anything alarming. Well, anything except a lust for murder, and that at this point was more than understandable. Joshua met my eyes without a blink, so I smiled at him, uncomfortably. I reminded myself that Joshua was one to keep an eye on. I didn't want to experience any more unpleasant surprises. I turned my eyes from Joshua and felt Tiamhaidh lightly in my mind. I stretched my hand and he grabbed it hard. I knew I wasn't here alone. Although this was my fight, I didn't have to fight alone and even if I collapsed later in David's arms, Tiamhaidh was here and he would share his power with me for as long as I wanted. I didn't have to struggle, not with him. He was here for me and I could count on that. Whatever happened, he would stand beside me. I leaned against his warm body and sighed.

  “It doesn't matter why you stay. The most important thing is that you stay. As there are nine strong shape shifters in our pack, I'm sure we'll find a way to keep Adam away from Clarissa.”

  “I don't want to influence her choice,” said Joshua strictly.

  “That was not a choice. Adam tied her to him by force and you know that. We can't just overlook that, but as Clarissa is still more human than shape shifter, I think we can separate her from Adam,” I said sternly. “Adam is my problem and from now on I will be watching his every step, closer than any of you can imagine.”

  “Sofia,” said Tiamhaidh softly.

  “No! Adam can never touch her again. Not without Clarissa's permission,” I said coldly.

  “Why don't you just exile him? That would solve everything,” asked Joshua.

  “I can't,” I sighed. “Adam is part of her soul and exiling him would break Clarissa. I just can't do that to her so I have to figure something else out.”

  When I mentioned Adam being part of Clarissa's soul, Joshua hit the wall. Shape shifters had only one soul-mate and when they found it, it was for eternity. Even though I had said we would find a way to separate them, it would be really hard, especially if Clarissa and Adam didn't want to separate. Clarissa didn't know that when Adam bound them together, he could find her no matter where she was, influence her and seduce her without an effort. I would have to teach her to protect herself better. I would have to protect her better. “And what if she doesn't want your protection?” Tiamhaidh's voice asked in my mind. I glanced at him, but he looked so steady that I was sure no one else knew what he had asked. I didn't know the answer, so I stayed quiet.

  Daniel and Gavin glanced at each other. They could challenge Adam, but this was my fight and I had to make the decision. If Gunward were here I could've done it together with him, but he wasn't so I had to trust Tiamhaidh, who led the pack with me. He was Gunward's first man and I had to count on him and David to help me out of this. I felt hopeless. What decisions were to be made? I couldn't exile Adam without getting the eldest on my neck. Clarissa was stuck with him unless we could figure out some loopholes in their bond. So there was no choice but to let things stay as they were and try harder to keep Clarissa away from Adam. Darel was staring at me and it started to feel annoying.

  “What?” I snapped.

  “Drew and I are going to Sarek,” he said and glanced at Drew, who avoided my gaze.

  I said nothing. Clearly they had made up their minds and I had nothing to say to that. I shrugged like I didn't care, though I did, and turned my eyes from Darel's dazzling blue eyes on purpose. He grabbed my shoulder blindingly fast and turned me around so that I had to face him. Tiamhaidh stood up and looked at him warningly, but I flagged him down.

  “Sofia,” he said, begging. “We're not going far. Things can change and then we'll be back.”

  “And obviously you decided this a long time ago?” I asked icily.

  “Before Gunward left,” Drew mumbled.

  I gasped. They had made this back up plan with Gunward, a few weeks, maybe a month ago. I felt so betrayed. Had they been spying on my pack and informing Gunward on its every move? Had they spied on me?

  “I see,” I expressed with an ice-cold voice. “I didn't even know you had contacted Gunward. I actually thought you didn't even know him.”

  Drew blushed. “Gunward is the strongest alpha-male ever, so we contacted him before we even knew Clarissa existed.”

  “And Gunward spends most of his time in Senja nowadays, so he needs someone to look after his pack while he's away. We promised to take care of it if Clarissa didn't choose either of us,” said Darel steadily.

  “Or if she chose one of you, the other one would be free to join Gunward's pack,” I snapped.

  “Not exactly. We'll stay, if you need us,” sighed Darel.

  I sighed, too. I didn't want them to stay, but I didn't want them to leave to go to Sarek either. You want to go there instead of them, a small voice whispered in my mind, but I shook it away. I raked my hair absentmindedly and sighed again. I framed Darel's face with my hands and kissed his cheeks.

  “Of course you'll go.”

  “Sorry I even tried to stop you. You’ll be a bigger help in Sarek than here and you will love that place,” I said gently and turned to face the ones who were leaving.

  I embraced them tightly. I didn't know if they would stay to say goodbye to Clarissa. I didn't want to let them go in a rush without proper goodbyes or in anger so that the next time I saw them the space between us would be huge or we would be total strangers to each other.

  I glanced at Tiam and went upstairs. Ciall was sitting behind Clarissa's door looking harsh.

  “Go now. I'll watch her.”

  Ciall looked at me uncertainly, but nodded and left me to face my daughters alone. I opened the door and saw Marie put her finger to her lips. Clarissa was sleeping with her head on Marie's lap, sighing occasionally.

  “How is she?” I asked.

  “Having nightmares,” whispered Marie. “But don't worry Mom, she'll get over this, though she's deadly in love with Adam.”

  “No, she's not. At least not yet, though she thinks she loves him. Give him one second and Adam will make her love him for real,” I said.

  “What are we going to do?”

  “There is no we. This is my fault and I will deal with this.”

  “Mom, don't be foolish. She's my sister,” she snapped and scowled at me.

  “I know that, love, but I don't want you to mix with Adam. Not in any way. If you get involved in this, Tiamhaidh couldn't just stand by, and you don't want them to fight. I'm pretty sure Tiamhaidh would win, but not a hundred percent sure, so stay away from this one.”

  “But I can't just sit and do nothing!”

  “You don't have to. You're doing what you're good at. Be her sister and let me handle Adam, okay?”

  “What if you don't win?”

  “Of course I'll win. How could I not?” I said and tapped her nose softly.

  “Hmm. Promise?” she asked with a tiny voice.

  “I promise,” I said and fondled her hair gently.

  Clarissa’s phone rang, cutting our conversation. I rifled through her school bag, but couldn't find her cellphone. Finally the ringing stopped just to start again in a while. This time Marie thought to look for the cell in Clarissa's clothes, but when we managed to shut it down, Clarissa woke up.

  “Who called,” she mumbled sleepily.

  “I don't know, but you don't have to answer now. Try to sleep some more,” I said and kissed her hair.

  “It could be Stella. Let me look.”

  Marie handed the phone to Clarissa and glanced at me hastily. She formed the name Brianna with her lips, and I looked concernedly at Clarissa.

  “Brianna,” gasped Clarissa. “Well, I don't think I'll answer that.”

  The phone, however, kept ringing doggedly and soon I hoped she would answer it. Clarissa looked at us with her face as pale as snow, and pressed the button.

  “I'll put it on speaker,” she whispered.

  “You bitch!” raged Brianna.
“Adam is taken, can't you get it! We are a couple, so please, please stop playing your games and go elsewhere to play!”

  “I won't buy that,” said Clarissa quietly. “I, I care for him and he cares for me.”

  “You better believe it, though I swear it's true. Where do you think Adam has been living for these past weeks? Under the bridge? I don't think so. He's been with me, at my house, not yours, get it? We practically live together and he spends all his nights with me, in my bed. So do you want me to describe this better? Leave it, bitch! There's no way you can take him from me,” bragged Brianna proudly.

  Clarissa couldn't say a word for a moment, but then she collected herself and asked quietly. “Can you swear that's the truth?”

  “Of course I can. And if you don't believe me, ask Adam.”

  “Then you better tell Adam to leave me alone,” she said tiredly. A lonely tear rolled from her eye, but she silently wiped it away.

  “And you stop hunting him!” shouted Brianna.

  “Yes, if you can call it that,” Clarissa's voice was almost inaudible.

  “Promise?” Brianna's voice was doubtful.

  “I promise, with a friends honor,” said Clarissa with a shaking voice.

  “Good. I'll talk to Adam,” said Brianna, and hung up.

  We stared at the mute cell. Clarissa spoke with a voice that was not a young girl's but of a very tired woman.

  “That's it then.”

  I tried to catch her eye, but she looked at the floor, devastated.

  “I want to talk to Adam as well,” I said and looked at my fragile child.