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Clarissa looked at Adam and searched his face, but he was staring at the black-board with a very bored look on his face.
“One of his brainless dolls tried to talk to him yesterday, but he snapped something so scary at her that they stopped trying. They let him be after that,” Stella touched Clarissa's hand and got serious. “I'm afraid of him, too. I don't get how you dare to play with him.”
“Well, that game is over, you can be sure of that. Adam and Brianna are a couple, so Adam's moods of rage are her concerns now,” said Clarissa uneasily.
“What! That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!” yelled Stella and looked around her, scared. Adam glanced at her and smiled lightly.
“Brianna was here last week and she was like a rabbit when she saw Adam. She barely had courage to come to the same class and the teacher literally had to force her in! And you know what, when Adam looked at her, I was sure she was going to faint, and not of joy. You can be sure of that, too,” she whispered.
“That can't be true! Brianna called me and told me in very straight terms that she and Adam were a couple,” snapped Clarissa. “Actually, she told me that Adam lives in her house and spends all his nights in her willing arms,” she hissed and took the flashy bottle of pink nail polish from Stella's hand.
Adam was now looking openly at them. Clarissa winced. He shook his head and turned away laughing.
“And you believed her?” said Stella, rolling her eyes.
“She took an oath on that, so yes, I believed her,” said Clarissa, hurt.
“Well, wait until you see Brianna. I guess she has to come to school at some point. I would bet on my life that she lied to you.”
Stella grabbed her polish back from Clarissa and without any shame, took one of her high heeled mocha shoe off. Then she peeled the thin sock away, revealing a very beautiful, sleek leg and dropped the sock carelessly next to Jonas's chair. In a moment her toes were glowing pink. As they waited for her toes to dry, Clarissa fell into her thoughts.
If Brianna had lied, Adam was free to be with her, right? So why did he just keep staring elsewhere, and didn't even try to approach her? Had he had enough of her already or was he too afraid of even trying to get closer to her? Did she even want him to try? Clarissa looked carelessly at Adam. He was chewing his pen and staring at her greedily. But when her eyes met his, he turned his head and kept his gaze on the board. Weird. A small spark of hope flashed inside her. She loved Adam but she didn't know what to do about it. She didn't care what the others had said about him. She loved him almost as much as she was afraid of him, and yet she was ready to push her fears aside if he would only see her.
Mom had said Adam had tied her to him by force, but she didn't care. She knew he was the one for her and she truly loved him, however madly. And even if she could never have him, she couldn't deny her feelings. Not anymore. She had to let Joshua go. She cared for him and if Adam didn't exist, she might have loved Joshua, but now that she felt so strongly for Adam, she could never love anyone else. This morning, she had been so sure that she wouldn't care about Adam and that no matter what she could choose Joshua and live happily ever after with him. But when she saw Adam, she knew that was a lie. There was not a man in this universe who could compete against Adam. Everything about him tempted her and she found her mind thinking about strange things. Like what it might feel like, if she could be with him for eternity. Or would she always feel like this? How would it feel if he peeled off one of her socks and looked at her toes? Would he think her legs were beautiful? Ugh. She shook her head. She was losing her mind! This really had to stop!
Jonas laughed deeply and interrupted her thoughts. She looked at him and saw to her horror that his hand was holding Stella's. He brushed her fingers lightly with his lips. Stella giggled limply.
“Jonas!” Clarissa screamed. “What are you doing?”
“Sniffing,” Jonas answered and laughed.
“Sniffing?” repeated Clarissa, bemused.
“Stella smells so good. I'm trying to guess what perfume she wears,” laughed Jonas.
“Seriously! Stop that right now!”
Jonas dropped Stella's hand reluctantly, but couldn't help but smile arrogantly at her. Stella sighed ecstatically.
“I do like your friend,” she sighed.
“I don't doubt that,” Clarissa mumbled, and tried to concentrate on her biology book.
The day passed surprisingly fast. Stella and Jonas flirted with each other and Adam stayed away from Clarissa. She would've wanted at least some attention from him and tried to glance at him secretly whenever she could, but he stayed away. Before the last class, something strange happened that bothered Clarissa for a long time after the day.
She was sure she saw Brianna standing outside the school. She was glancing fearfully around and seemed to be hiding from someone. Every time someone entered the yard, she started and hid herself. She didn't care where she went and Clarissa was sure that she actually saw Brianna hiding in a bin once, and that was weird. Clarissa got up surreptitiously and pressed her face to the window. Brianna was acting like some frightened animal and that, if nothing, felt so weird. Brianna was not like that. She was very confident and self-conscious. She had always been, since Clarissa had known her, so why was she acting like that? What made her so frightened?
Brianna met Clarissa's gaze through the window and jumped. She looked so horrified and so scared of her that Clarissa couldn't possibly understand why. She had never insulted her except when she had teased Adam, but that was just normal. Somehow something had made Brianna fear her and that felt really peculiar.
Clarissa turned thoughtfully and met Blake's eyes. She tried to smile at him and went back to her place. Stella looked at her, but as she seemed to be all right, she continued her coo with Jonas. Adam stared at her as well, and the look in his eyes was totally bizarre. Clarissa tried to wipe his mind carefully, but he pushed her gently away and got up. The teacher looked at him, obviously angry, but she was too scared to say anything. Adam disappeared from the door without even glancing behind. Clarissa sighed, frustrated. Thank God the class would be over in six minutes.
CHAPTER 10
The next morning Clarissa rushed to the car. Every minute she could have with Adam was worth being at school on time. Joshua and Blake hung around the car talking silently. Jonas was nowhere and Clarissa sighed, annoyed. She should've guessed. He was still sleeping. Damn! Now they had to wait at least half an hour before they could go to school.
Clarissa flung her bag on the back seat and banged the door shut demonstratively. She stayed next to the car and as she dared not look at Joshua, she focused her anger on Blake.
“Where's Jonas? Why didn't you wake him up? We're gonna be late! We have only twenty minutes before school starts!” she yelled.
“Calm down,” said Blake, smiling and avoiding the lightning being blown out of Clarissa's eyes. “Jonas left long before us.”
“What! Why didn't you say so earlier and why didn't he wake me up? Hurry now!” she screamed and dashed to the car.
Blake opened the front door slowly with exaggeration and glanced a warning at Clarissa. Joshua was sitting in the driver's seat, looking like a storm. Clarissa pressed her fist close and counted slowly to twenty. She had to calm down, or else she would expose herself. What would they think if they knew how much she missed Adam? Adam had done nothing to make her love him. He had assaulted her and she should hate him, but she couldn't. The others were doing everything for her and what did she give them in return? Nothing. She would carelessly exchange all of them for Adam, if that were possible. She didn't need other men. She needed only Adam, and even if he had really tied her to him in a wrong way, that wasn't enough to stop her. She wanted him and was ready to do anything to get him.
Clarissa concentrated her thought on the trees that flashed past and tried to think of anything but Adam. That wasn't easy. Images of him flashed in her mind. Adam kissing her gently and looking at her with his bla
ck, dangerous eyes. Adam with his motorcycle. Stepping on the gas after school, the top of his black hair curling slightly from the moist autumn weather. She shook her head and faced Blake's lashing eyes through the mirror.
“Why did Jonas go there before us?” she asked suddenly as it disturbed her thoughts.
“He picked up your friend and they went there together,” Joshua grinned.
“What! What friend and why didn't he say anything to me?”
“Stella,” answered Blake, embarrassed. “And I think you know why he didn't tell you and why he asked us to be quiet as well.”
Clarissa dug at her pockets with rage. When she found her cell, she typed Stella's number and waited. No answer. After she had called Stella three times without getting any answer, she decided to leave a message. She waited a little bit longer and when Stella's lively voice announced that she had something else to do right now than pick up the phone, she screamed into the machine.
“Stella! Call me this minute! And I mean it!”
The phone, however, stayed mute and furious as she was, she couldn't do anything but tell Joshua to drive faster.
When the car stopped, Clarissa instantly grabbed her bag and rushed inside. Joshua shouted something behind her, but she didn't want to stop. The school bell hadn't rung yet, but Stella and Jonas were sitting in the classroom already, side by side, browsing through some trashy magazine together. Adam had moved his chair near Stella's, but didn't even glance at Clarissa as she rushed into class. A few girls at the front seat said hello to her, but Jonas and Stella didn't seem to notice her, not even when she stood right in front of them. She put her hands on her hips and stared at them in disbelief. Finally she couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed the magazine and threw it on the floor. Jonas opened his mouth as if to complain, but Clarissa's angry gaze stopped him and he just smiled sheepishly.
“Stella?”
“Clarissa.”
“Stella! Stop that! Explanations, thank you.”
Stella smiled without shame and turned to kiss Jonas right on his mouth. Clarissa pushed herself harshly between them and couldn't care less about her classmates that came into the classroom, whistling and cheering.
“Jonas, do I have to give my order and twist it with an iron wire to make you understand? I think it was a very simple order, don't you?” Clarissa poked his chest.
“But,” Jonas lisped, embarrassed.
Stella decided to save Jonas and climbed over Clarissa into his arms.
“Get off, might have been the order, but what I heard was grab on,” she sighed happily and kissed his hair gently.
“Argh! I give up. But remember what I said, Jonas,” Clarissa looked at Jonas significantly. “And you, Stella, I'll talk to you later, you can bet on that!”
Jonas glanced at Clarissa, confused, but didn't do anything to get Stella off his lap. In her mind Clarissa felt Adam laughing quietly and turned fiercely to look at him.
“What are you looking at?” she snapped. Adam shrugged his shoulders and grinned.
Clarissa sniffed and turned her back demonstratively to him. Adam said nothing, but laughed silently with his low, sexy tone, and Clarissa felt her neck slowly starting to blush. She wasn't actually mad at Jonas and Stella. She was truly happy for them, as Stella was her best friend and Jonas was quickly becoming like a brother to her. She was pissed mostly, because Stella hadn't told her how serious she was with Jonas. She had thought that Stella was only joking when she asked if she could have him, and since Adam had filled her mind she hadn't noticed anything like this coming.
Clarissa drew obscure designs in her literature book, but when she noticed how her designs created Adam's name over and over again, she crossed them out and threw her pen angrily in her bag. Stella decided to have mercy on her friend and climbed out of Jonas's arms, but Clarissa was too furious to listen to any explanations, so she ignored Stella and read some brochure about an extra literature class. She fell so deep in her own thoughts, leaving everyone out, that she didn't hear anything. So she was really surprised when the bell rang and her teacher was standing right in front of her, tapping her shoe on the floor.
Her teacher said nothing but looked at her reproachfully. Clarissa mumbled a quiet sorry and the teacher left. Was the class really over? She looked around her and saw that most of the students were running out the door as fast as possible. Stella and Jonas were standing hand in hand next to her chair waiting for her. She quickly packed her papers and books, and smiled at Stella uneasily. Blake seemed to be having a serious conversation next to the door with Lisa, a little mousey girl. She looked like she had just gone to heaven.
“Blake,” she yelled and he turned to look at her. A slow smile spread on Blake's face and he pushed Lisa harshly away. He looked at Clarissa and glanced at Jonas and Stella.
“Everything okay?”
Clarissa nodded and lightly pressed Stella's hand. Stella sighed, relieved, and smiled.
“Sorry I was a jerk,” Clarissa mumbled.
Stella waved her hand and laughed.
“Me too.”
“I guess I over-reacted a little,” she grinned and Jonas broke into laugh.
“Just a little bit.”
Stella's bright gabbling led them to the yard, where Emilie and Caitlin joined them. From the corner of her eye, Clarissa saw Adam standing next to the wall and tried deliberately to turn her gaze away. She couldn't help it though. She was aware of Adam every minute. He had a wool cap that trendily covered his black hair. She noticed his hand that brushed his hair from his eyes and the black leather ribbons on his wrist. She couldn't help herself and gulped out loud when she saw his stubble and his black leather jacket that hid his other hand, his eyes staring hungrily at her and his tiny wide smile rippling on the corner of his mouth. She was paralyzed. Adam was a dream. Yes, a bad dream once in a while, but a dream that you didn't want to wake up from, ever. Clarissa felt her mind starting to reach his mind. Her thoughts were entangled in his thoughts and she was just about to start walking to him when something hit her.
“Ouch!” she screamed and pushed Stella away.
“I'm glad you like it too,” grinned Stella.
Clarissa stared at her friends. They were all looking at her and waiting. Obviously someone had asked her something. She looked at Stella and hoped for a little help from her. Stella sighed and nodded discreetly at a short boy who was hovering around Clarissa. She managed to smile brilliantly as she turned to face him.
“Pete! I didn't notice you. I was drowning in my own thoughts. What was it you said?”
Pete touched his hair nervously and coughed.
“I'm having a party next Saturday and I, well I thought if you could all come. Especially you,” he said and turned bright red.
Oh my, Clarissa thought. How could she ever wiggle herself out of this? Pete was alright, but come on, a party in his house! That meant he wanted her to be his date and he would follow her like some nice puppy the whole evening. That was way too much right now. Clarissa glanced at Blake, who was trying not to laugh. Stella focused on staring at Jonas's shoes while Emilie and Caitlin giggled quietly. Clarissa looked at Pete. He was adorable, and the last thing she wanted was to hurt his feelings.
“I'd love to come,” Clarissa surprised herself. “But I'm kind of seeing someone, and I don't think he would want me to come.”
Pete looked at her with his puppy brown eyes and for a moment she was sure he was going to cry, but then he shrugged and nodded deferentially.
“I figured. Well, if you want to come anyway, you can bring him with you,” he sighed and turned away, disappointed.
When he was gone, they all laughed.
“Well, thanks a lot,” snapped Clarissa.
“You're welcome,” Stella giggled and buried herself deeper in Jonas's arms.
Clarissa heard Adam's laughter in her mind and turned to grin at him. Adam, however, was gone. Joshua was standing near the school yard. He winked at her. The bell rang and as she
rushed inside, she waved at him and smiled.
CHAPTER 11
Mrs. Stevens wrote a big bunch of equations on the black board and urged her students to solve them in their heads as quickly as possible. Clarissa didn't even bother to try. She stared blatantly at Adam. He didn't even glance at her. “Look at me!” Clarissa screamed continuously in her mind, but his gaze stayed on the board, and when the teacher paused the egg-shaped timer on her desk, he surprised everybody by raising his hand.
Mrs. Stevens stared at Adam. She had lost her tongue and couldn't speak. After several uneasy minutes she seemed to wake up from her trance and advised him to answer. With a calm voice, Adam listed the answers to each of the equations. The teacher nodded approvingly, but as Adam grinned at her shamelessly, she turned quickly and wiped the board, then started to write down some more complex equations. Clarissa was furious. Her head ached and she felt restless. All she wanted was at least some attention from Adam and even that old hag, Mrs. Stevens, was getting more from him than she did. Yes, she knew she was pathetic, but she didn't care.
Clarissa crumbled her eraser into small pieces and started to throw those pieces at Adam. Nothing. He didn't even turn. Damn, he was stubborn! She was just about to rush to him when she felt a strong hand grabbing her thigh. She turned angrily and met Jonas's eyes. She was totally embarrassed. She swallowed her words down and dropped back to her chair.
The hour seemed to last forever. Every time Mrs. Stevens wrote more and more difficult equations, Adam answered all of them. The rest of the class stared at this weird play, enchanted, and no one seemed to notice anything bizarre about the way Adam was listing the answers. Clarissa bristled with rage. She knew he was picking the answers right from the teacher's head, so no matter how hard or difficult an equation she managed to create, it was impossible for her to survive this game a winner. Her headache seemed to be getting worse and all she wanted was to go home and dive into her own soft bed.