IMMINENCE (The Shape Shifter series) Read online

“Let him in, Adam,” I shouted.

  Toothbrush still in my mouth, I ran to the living room to be confronted by an enraged David. I had to admit the situation didn’t appear to be the best possible from my point of view. A half-naked, dangerously handsome Adam with his dark eyes, laughing at my doorstep, and two very handsome men slacking off in the armchairs in the living room. Oh, and Gunward, who was evidently enjoying David’s rage, had decided to provoke him by stepping behind me and wrapping his arms possessively around me. I shook Gun’s hands off me and went to David.

  “David, what has happened?” I asked anxiously.

  “It doesn’t seem like you’re all that interested,” David muttered and turned to leave.

  “David! This is Adam, who is the beta male of our pack, and these two are Gavin and Daniel, my brothers,” I explained, trying to get the last smudges of toothpaste off the corners of my mouth.

  “I don’t know what to believe anymore, nor do I care, but I had no idea who else to turn to and who could help me,” David said, sounding defeated. “We have to hurry. Marie has been kidnapped before noon today and whoever took her forgot to take her medication,” David informed us in a weary voice.

  I saw that he had to struggle with himself in order not to break down in front of us. I wanted to rush into his arms and tell him everything was all right. I loved him and I was not about to leave him even though that was obviously what he thought. I couldn't do what I wanted, though, because that would have undone us both. The only way I could help him was to find Marie as quickly as possible and make sure she was all right.

  “Gunward! We need to act quickly. Marie won’t hold for longer than two days at the most without her medication!” I cried anxiously.

  Gavin and Daniel rose and came to me. I knew how sorry they were. They knew how important Marie and Clarissa were to me. We gathered closely together and only David’s muttering made me realize how easily we had left him outside again. How much of an outsider he must feel, for even a blind creature would notice the connection shared by the rest of us. We heard each other’s thoughts and what each individual felt was also felt by everyone else. Our connection was very strong, enabling us to plan the search for Marie without saying a word out loud. But Marie was also David’s child and any decision we made would also concern him. I felt how difficult he found it to accept Gunward’s leadership, but I was certain he would take any help we could possibly get in order to have Marie back with us as quickly and safely as possible.

  Luckily David had had the sense to leave Marie’s medication on the table in case the kidnappers came back for them. Now we only needed to find out who had taken her and why. Gunward and David talked for hours and the rest of us tried to reason out where to begin the search for Marie. Finally we decided to send Adam to David’s parents, as Adam was - according to Gunward - an uncommonly skilled tracker and tracking was the starting point of any hunt. Then we needed to convince Adam that he really was hunting Marie. I knew it would be a matter of mere hours before darkness fell. Darkness as such was no impediment to hunting, but if the kidnappers were still lurking nearby, it would be easier for them to attack Adam in the dark. But we had no other choice.

  After Adam had gone, the rest of us felt quite useless. Until we got more information there was nothing to do but wait, and under these circumstances it was downright grueling. David skirted around me and Gunward kept purposefully annoying him by sticking close to me whenever possible. He played with my hair, kissed my neck in passing, or let his fingers brush my skin. David pretended indifference, but every single cell of him wanted to kill Gun. Gunward merely grinned impudently and David gave me cold stares. Thank heavens Daniel and Gavin were there. I was sure none of us three would have survived these tortuous hours of waiting had my brothers not been there. Gavin helped me in the kitchen and Daniel challenged David to a game of Backgammon. Gunward played the piano with seeming concentration, all the while holding a vehement, unvoiced dispute with me. From time to time Gavin or Daniel would lift their eyes to Gunward and I knew David was aware of our soundless conversation, even though he tried to pretend not to notice.

  Eventually I couldn’t take any more and threw the dishcloth on the table and marched out of the kitchen. Gunward rose and came after me. I sat down on the terrace steps and allowed myself to cry. I dimly noticed Gunward lifting me into his arms and rocking me softly. He stroked and kissed my hair, whispering in my ear in Gaelic. My mind yelled objections. It should have been David here with me. Why had he not come? Why had he decided to give up on me and leave me alone? In my mind I screamed. My head felt as if it were about to explode. I couldn’t take this anymore. I sensed my brothers’ anxiety but hadn’t the strength to answer them. I felt numb. I felt the muscles on Gunward’s back tighten, but not for a moment did he stop caressing me. How could he bear this? He knew exactly what was going on in my mind and still he remained with me. I felt the incredible strength of his love and burrowed deeper into his arms. I drew strength from him, knowing he would give his all for me, even if I couldn’t give him what he most wanted. Myself.

  It was not until several hours later that I was finally able to withdraw from Gunward’s embrace. No explanations were needed. He understood.

  “Is Adam back yet?” I asked, my voice hoarse with weeping.

  “You would’ve felt his return,” Gun said tenderly.

  “You have to understand David. If someone had kidnapped an offspring of ours, you would have destroyed half the city by now looking for the perpetrator. I just can’t understand why he can’t worry together with me, why he doesn’t care.” I felt my tears begin to fall again.

  “It’s not me you have to convince. You should talk to David,” Gun stroked my cheek and gently wiped off my tears.

  “I can’t!” I cried. “He doesn’t understand me. He never has, but now he knows the reason. I only hoped his love would be stronger. Doesn’t he see what he’s doing to me?”

  “He sees what he wants to see, love. In this I can’t help you. You will have to find a way to connect with him, or you need to let go of him. It’s your decision.”

  “I can’t let go of him! I can’t! You have to understand, Gunward. If I let go, I don’t know what will happen. David is my anchor. He’s the harbor I can shelter in to wait out the storm. You of all people, ought to understand what that means.”

  “Fia, you can’t cling to the past. I lost my head and that’s a mistake I’ve had to pay for all these years. I lost you and I thought I’d never find you again. For decades, nearly centuries, I was certain you’d simply evaporated and when Adam found your trail I couldn’t believe it. Only when I saw you with my own eyes could I really believe I had been given a new chance. You will not lose your mind,” Gunward told me sternly. Gunward turned my face right so I was facing him and repeated, “You will not lose your mind. I will not let you lose your mind.”

  His golden brown eyes stared into mine and I felt myself sinking into him. I was still wholly in love with him, but I could never admit it. Not out loud. Not to him. The secret I had buried so deep that he would never find it out unless I wanted him to.

  “You don’t know how close I was to coming after you,” I choked out.

  “But you didn’t, Fia. You didn’t, and that’s what matters.”

  “I wanted to. I was scared, but Gunward, I really wanted to come. I heard those children screaming in pain. I saw all that blood, the mangled bodies of the children, and I felt sick, but I wanted to come after you and that still gives me the creeps.”

  “Of course you did. Fia, love, you have to understand how important it is that you didn’t. Did you know the elders still can’t understand how it was possible for you to resist my call?” Gunward stroked my hair and face. He looked at me with such tenderness that I felt tears begin to fall down my cheeks again.

  “I was the alpha male of the pack and everyone should have obeyed me. It was necessary for our survival. You don’t know how many young males perished in those days.
They followed me blindly even though I never consciously asked them to,” Gunward's eyes glittered with moisture and he drew me back into his arms.

  “You resisted me, because you knew all along how wrong it was to do what I did. How can anyone resist such evil? Didn’t you feel how arousing it was? Didn’t you feel how exciting and dangerous it was? How I craved more and more? Sharing it with you would have made my enjoyment complete, but you didn’t follow me.”

  “I can still freak out. How can anyone stay sane when someone is threatening your own child? Gunward, I could rip the throat of whoever did this to Marie. I’d do it without so much as blinking and I wouldn’t have any qualms afterwards.”

  “I know. But it doesn’t make you evil or insane. Fia, listen to your surroundings. Aren’t you hearing your brothers’ thoughts? Whoever did this will have to run very far, for your brothers, too, thirst for the kidnapper’s blood. Can you honestly say Daniel or Gavin are freaking out? Listen, love, just listen.”

  I let out a heavy sigh and put my head between my knees. I closed my eyes and focused entirely on the nature around me. I felt Flow and Bruun’s worry and I ought to have been glad of it. They had finally accepted at least one member of my family into their pack. I felt the wind rustling reeds and the water lapping against the stones on the beach. I felt small bugs crawling in the dewy grass. I felt the sun caressing young leaves in the trees and swallows happily flying near the roof of our boat shed. I also felt a murderous rage. I felt an ominous black mist shroud the minds of my brothers. I felt them burn with impatience to start tracking the kidnapper. How frustrating this waiting was for them. I felt David’s rage and anxiety. His fear for Marie. I felt his painful jealousy towards Gunward and my heart filled with joy. David loved me! He truly did love me! I also felt that none of the others were even close to losing their minds. I looked at Gunward with amazement.

  “Deeds, my love. Deeds matter, not thoughts,” Gunward smiled his crooked, sexy smile and I felt nothing. Well, almost nothing.

  We went back inside and the whole room seemed lighter. I broke into a wide smile and looked at David.

  “Adam is on his way back.”

  CHAPTER 14

  Adam slipped quietly into the house, tired. He had run to the house of David’s parents and had almost lost his head over Clarissa’s scent. I yelled at him silently, but he pointed out he’d left Clarissa completely alone. I didn’t believe him and when I delved deeper into his mind I saw that he was lying. He had stayed there for almost an hour, watching Clarissa sleep. He had drawn in the fragrance of Clarissa’s newly washed hair and had run his fingers through the long locks. He had been very careful and kept his touch light so as not to wake Clarissa, but he could by no means with a clear conscience claim to have left her alone. Only when Clarissa had turned over in her sleep and her duvet had slipped halfway to the floor, revealing her long smooth legs, had Adam forced himself to be on his way. Only a few more minutes and he would have lost control and touched Clarissa.

  Adam fixed me with a cocky look. I swallowed audibly and David looked at me questioningly. I couldn’t say anything, though, because if David had known what Adam had done, he would have attacked Adam and not had the slightest chance of emerging out of that struggle as the victor. Gunward let me know he’d deal with Adam later and I merely gave David a surreptitious shake of my head. Adam glanced at Gunward and continued his report.

  Marie’s scent had still been evident in the house and what worried us the most was that it was mixed with a strong scent of several shape shifters. Adam had recognized that scent at once. Some males of the pack had apparently thought it a good idea to kidnap Marie in order to soften me to rejoin the pack. Matt, a young male, had induced five other shape shifters to join him and they had lurked in a small forest near the house. When Marie left for school in the morning, they had made their move and taken her. Adam had followed their trail to the farm where they had been staying, but the house had been emptied with obvious haste and one more male shape shifter, Timothy, had joined the kidnappers. Somehow they had succeeded in covering all their tracks and it had been impossible for Adam to follow them any further. I felt despair fill me. If Adam hadn’t been able to track them, we had no chance of finding Marie. The look on Gunward’s face was murderous. I knew he wasn’t as angry about the youngsters taking Marie as he was about their flagrant disobedience of him.

  It was very early morning and a hint of twilight still lingered outside. The hour of the wolf, I mused. The late spring night never quite allowed darkness to catch up with it, but even the twilight and the silence entwined with it horrified me. Rationally thinking, I knew Adam was the cause of the silence. A hunting wolf had just run in the forest, inducing all other animals to flee in terror, but my common sense seemed to be quite lost and I was only conscious of the horrid silence and the fact that my child had disappeared.

  “How could you possibly lose her?” I yelled at Adam.

  I stood right next to him and even though he was over twenty centimeters taller, he finally understood to bow his head to me. There is no fury more frightening than that of a mother worried for her child. David pulled me against him and held me tightly. He, too, sensed that I felt compelled to attack someone and give vent to my rage. But now was not the right time for that. I would have to calm down.

  “Sofia,” Gunward’s voice held a note of warning.

  “You were supposed to be the best hunter!” I went on yelling.

  “And you,” I flung my smoldering gaze at Gunward, “You are one poor excuse of a pack leader indeed! First your pack threatens me, then Clarissa, and now to top it all off they steal Marie! You promised my family would be left alone! You promised!”

  My strength left me and I wilted against David, only his firm hold preventing me from toppling to the floor. David also knew I had gone too far and gave Gunward an apologetic look.

  Gunward clenched his fist and swore. None of us were able to understand how Matt could really think that abducting Marie would be of any use. In his stupidity he had placed Marie in truly grave danger and if we didn’t find them by this evening she would have to be rushed to the hospital without delay. Without her medication, she would experience epileptic seizures of such magnitude that they would endanger her life. Would the youngsters understand enough to get help in time, or would Marie die in their hands? Gunward was full of murderous rage. My distress had overwhelmed his senses and it was impossible for him to think clearly.

  “Take Sofia away,” Gunward told David sharply.

  “Come, my darling,” David urged me gently.

  “I certainly will not!” I cried. “Marie is my little one. How she must be scared! She’s all alone with what, at least six men who abducted her. We have to act right now. You can’t shut me out of this! I warn you, Gunward, you will have to take me with you! She’s my child! I want to come along for the hunt,” I insisted in terror.

  I was very close to coming apart and the more I thought of Marie the greater pain I felt. David held me firmly in place and it didn’t occur to me that I could easily have extricated myself from his hold. His grip gave no quarter.

  Gunward looked sternly at David and David started half-dragging me off to another room. My mind screamed protests. I kicked and shrieked. I damned all the men in my house to the lowest level of hell and cursed both my brothers for not even lifting a hand to help me. At that moment I was ready to tear them all to pieces and they knew it. Only David’s gentle touch prevented me from launching myself at them. I couldn’t keep silent, however, and my curses echoed in the room long after David had taken me away.

  Adam and Gunward were standing by the main door when David entered the room. Daniel and Gavin were just returning from Marie’s room, where they had been so as to get as thorough a scent of her as possible. The hunt would be long and difficult. This prey would not surrender willingly and a fight was imminent. Many would be hurt and Gunward might even have to force some of the youngsters to give up their right to tran
sform into wolves.

  “She’s sleeping at last,” said David.

  Gunward merely nodded at the other man. He didn’t bother telling him that he had sensed the moment I’d fallen asleep.

  “How is it possible that they managed to kidnap Marie without you knowing it?” David went on.

  Gunward was silent. In his mind he was already devising a plan for the hunt, and couldn’t be bothered to answer.

  “You did know! You bastard, you knew!” David shouted.

  “Calm down, David,” Gavin stepped in, “he didn’t know because he was here comforting your wife after you had left her. Gunward’s thoughts were wholly focused on Sofia’s distress, so you can’t blame him for leaving the pack unsupervised for a while. We all bear a part of the guilt, even you.”

  David looked miserably at the other men. He knew Gavin was right. He had left Sofia even though she had needed him. He had set the safety of his children above the needs of his wife. Could anyone truly blame him for that? Still, Marie was now in danger and he could do nothing to rescue her. He felt useless. Now was not the time for self-pity, though. Sofia was lying upstairs, half unconscious, and if Marie was in danger, didn’t that mean they might also strike at Clarissa? David’s only hope lay with these big men, who were a part of Sofia’s shady past, and he had no choice but to trust them.

  “Tiamhaidh,” Daniel murmured.

  “What did you say?” Gunward was jolted from his thoughts.

  “Tiamhaidh,” Daniel repeated.

  “You’re right. We still have a faint chance.”

  “Could someone tell me what exactly you’re talking about?” David asked anxiously. The other men turned to look at him and David could see hope in their eyes.

  “Tiamhaidh, or Timothy to humans, is a hermit wolf. He’s a member of the pack only because Gunward made him come along. If Tiamhaidh is involved in the abduction, which I can’t believe, he will open his mind to Gunward if he must.”